Great Lines From The Movies

One of my favorite pasttimes is collecting great quotes from some great and some not-so-great movies. Here is a collection of some of the best. There is an outstanding site on movies in general, with a huge selection of quotes in particular at The Internet Movie Database (IMDb) that is worth visiting.

Note: there may be the odd TV show quote sprinkled here and there. Also, I've developed a page devoted solely to Seinfeld quotes.

Rooster Cogburn“Ned, I mean to kill you in two minutes or take you to Fort Smith to hang at Judge Parker's convenience. Which'll it be?”
Lucky Ned Pepper“I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man.”
Cogburn“Fill your hand you sonafabitch!”

John Wayne and Robert Duvall in True Grit

Josey Wales“Are you going to pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?”

Clint Eastwood in The Outlaw Josey Wales

LtCol. Thursday“This Lt. O'Rourke, are you by chance related?”
SgtMaj O'Rourke“Not by chance, sir, by blood. He's my son“
Thursday               “I see. How did he happen to get into West Point?”
O'Rourke“It happened by Presidential Appointment, sir.”
Thursday“Are you a former officer, O'Rourke?”
O'Rourke“During the war I was a major in the 69th NY Regiment, the Irish Brigade, sir.”
Thursday“Still, it's been my impression that Presidential Appointments were restricted to sons of holders of the Medal of Honor.”
O'Rourke“That was my impression, too, sir. Will that be all, sir?”

Henry Fonda and Ward Bond in Fort Apache

Josey Wales“You a bounty hunter?”
Bounty Hunter“A man's gotta do something to make a living these days.”
Wales“Dying ain't much of a living, boy.”
(long pause)
“You know, this isn't necessary.”
“You could ride on outta here.”
(bounty hunter exits, then returns)
Bounty Hunter“I had to come back.”
Wales“I know.”

Clint Eastwood & Tom Roy Lowe in
The Outlaw Josey Wales

Cicero Grimes“Mister, you've got a lotta hard bark on you, walking down here like that.”

Richard Boone in Hombre

Derek Flint “I noticed that these men were wearing Battle of the Bulge ribbons.”
Cramden“There is no Battle of the Bulge ribbon.”
Flint“Exactly. These men are imposters.”

James Coburn and Lee J. Cobb in Our Man Flint

Man with no name“A man's life in these these parts often depends on a mere scrap of information.”

Clint Eastwood in A Fistful of Dollars

Dobbs“…where are your badges?”
Gold Hat“Badges? we ain't got no badges.
We don't need no badges.
We don't have to show no stinkin’ badges!”

Humphrey Bogart and Alfonso Bedoya in The Treasure of the Sierra Madre

Felix Ungar“In other words, you’re asking me to move out.”
Oscar Madison“Not ‘in other words’—those are the perfect ones.”

Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon in The Odd Couple

Rooster Cogburn“LeBeouf, you get crossways with me and you'll think a thousand of brick had fell on you.”

John Wayne (to Glen Campbell) in True Grit

Inspector Clouseau“Does your dog bite?”
Hotel Clerk“No.”
Dog“Grrr, snarl, snap.”
Clouseau“I thought you said your dog does not bite.”
Clerk“That is not my dog“

Peter Sellers and Harold Berens(?) in The Pink Panther Strikes Again

Annie Savoy“A guy will listen to anything if he thinks it's foreplay.”

Susan Sarandon in Bull Durham

Rose Castorini“Old man, you give those dogs another piece of my food, I'm gonna kick you 'til you're dead.”

Olympia Dukakis in Moonstruck

Captain“What we have here—is failure to communicate.”

Strother Martin in Cool Hand Luke

Jock Sinclair(list of bagpipe tunes) “…others, Pipe Major.”
Pipe Major MacLean“'Cock of the North,' sir.”
Jock Sinclair“Ah, yon's a cheesy tune. You'll no play that.”

Alec Guiness and Duncan McCrae in Tunes of Glory

Lomax“Mine hit the ground first.”
Taw Jackson“Mine was taller.”

Kirk Douglas and John Wayne in The War Wagon

Squiffy“Morning Squadron Leader.”
Squadron Leader“What-ho, Squiffy”
Squiffy“How was it?”
SL“Top hole. Bally Jerry pranged his kite right in the how's your father. Hairy blighter dickie birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harper's and caught his can in the Bertie.”
Squiffy“Er, I’m afraid I don’t quite follow you, Squadron Leader.”
SL“Perfectly ordinary banter, Squiffy. Bally Jerry pranged his kite…”

Terry Jones and Eric Idle in the “RAF Banter” sketch from Monty Python’s Flying Circus

Johhnny Hooker“He's not as tough as he thinks.”
Harry Gondorff“Neither are we.”

Robert Redford and Paul Newman in The Sting

General Savage“Ya hit anything up there, Harvey?”
Major Stovall“Well, Sir, my glasses were frosted over some, but I think I got a piece of one.”
Savage“Ours, or theirs?”

Gregory Peck and Dean Jagger in Twelve O'Clock High

Dorothy“Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas any more.”

Judy Garland in The Wizard of Oz

(describing his first day of Diploma Equivalency class)
“I was surprised and delighted to find a complimentary piece of gum under the seat.”

William Sanderson in Newhart

Paul Regret“How do you know you killed him?”
Jake Cutter (as Ed McBain)“Wasn't time not to.”

Stuart Whitman and John Wayne in The Comancheros

Chuck Yeager“Hey, Ridley. You got any Beeman's?”
Jack Ridley“Yeah, I think I got a stick.”
Yeager“Loan me some, will you; I'll pay you back later.”
Ridley“Fair enough.”

Sam Shepard and Levon Helm in The Right Stuff

Eddie Dane“Hey, Tic Tac—ever notice how the snappy dialogue dries up when they start soilin’ their union suit?”

J.E. Freeman in Miller’s Crossing

Jessie“Frankly, it wouldn't bother me a bit if you had to walk all the way to Bisbee.”
John Russell“Wouldn't bother me either, lady.”

Paul Newman and Diane Cilento in Hombre

Will Danaher“So the IRA's in this too.”
Fahy“If it were, Red Will Danaher, not a scorched stone of this fine house would be left standing.”
O'Flynn“A beautiful sentiment.”

Victor McLaglen, Ken Curtis, Barry Fitzgerald in The Quiet Man

Percy Garris
(several occasions)
(spits) “Bingo!” (when he clears his beard)
(spits) “Dammit!” (when he doesn't)

Strother Martin in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Gen George Patton“Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.”

George C. Scott in Patton

Andy Sipowicz“You sure prosecuted the crap out of that, counseler.”
Sylvia Costas“I went with the crap I had, detective.”
Sipowicz“Are you saying I queered the evidence on purpose.”
Costas“I'd say res ipsa loquitur if I thought you knew what it meant.”
(grabbing crotch)
“Ipsa this, you pissy little bitch.”

Dennis Franz and Sharon Lawrence in NYPD-Blue

Wil Andersen“We're burnin' daylight.”

John Wayne in The Cowboys (and probably others)

Arthur Carlson“As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”

Gordon Jump in WKRP in Cincinnati
(in my opinion, the funniest line ever uttered on TV, although I think you had to see the scene.)

The Sundance Kid
(to Butch Cassidy)
“Think you used enough dynamite there, Butch?”

Robert Redford and Paul Newman in
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

MSgt. Clancy“I've served under worse skippers.”
Maj. Kirby“And I've had worse line chiefs.”

Jay C. Flippen and John Wayne in Flying Leathernecks

Harry Doyle“Juuuuusssst a bit outside.”

Bob Uecker in Major League

J. B. Books“I hope you're smart enough to know that who-hit-John don't go with guns.”

John Wayne in The Shootist

Sgt. Patrick O'Neal“Name? Sgt. Patrick O'Neal. Title? Hand to hand combat instructor. Further instruction will commence tomorrow at 0700 on the parade ground.”

Jeremy Slate in The Devil's Brigade
(after thoroughly cleaning Claude Akins’ clock in the mess hall.)

Butch Cassidy“Who are those guys?.”

Paul Newman in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
(spoken several times during the chase.)

Inigo Montoya“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

Mandy Patinkin in The Princess Bride

Ens. Frank Pulver“Now what's this crud about no movie?”

Jack Lemmon in Mister Roberts

Versions of getting a cattle drive started:
Wil Andersen“Let's go to Belle Fourche.” (pronounced bell foosh)
Tom Dunson“Take ’em to Missouri, Matt.”

John Wayne in The Cowboys and Red River (to Montgomery Clift), respectively.

Will Munny“It's a hell of a thing, killing a man. You take away all he's got; all he's ever gonna have.”

Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven

Percy Garris“Ordinarily you've got to wait to work for Percy Garris, but this ain't ordinarily.” (spits) “Bingo!”
Butch Cassidy“You mean there are jobs.”
GarrisYes, there are jobs—lots of jobs. Don't you wanna know why?”
Cassidy“Yeah, why?”
Garris(spits) “Dammit. Because I cannot afford to pay you. Don't you wanna know why?”
The Sundance Kid“Okay, why?”
Garris“On account of the payroll thieves, fellow citizens.”

Strother Martin, Paul Newman, and Robert Redford in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Jessie“Then will you tell me why we keep trottin' after you?”
John Russell“'Cause I can cut it, lady.”

Paul Newman and Diane Cilento in Hombre

Mrs. Leverlilly
(protesting, after Clouseau has destroyed the piano trying to swat a fly with a medieval weapon)
“That's a pricless Steinway.”
Inspector Clouseau“Not any more.”

Peter Sellers and Vanda Godsell in The Pink Panther Strikes Again

Rick Vaughn“What's that shit on your chest.”
Eddie Harris(points to it) “Crisco.” (points under forelock) “Bardahl.” (wipes spot under waistband) “Vagisil. Any one of 'em 'll put another two to three inches of drop on your curve ball. Of course if the umps are watching me close, I just rub a little jalapeño inside my nose, get it runnin', and then if I need to load it up a little I just” (runs fingers past nostrils) “wipe my nose.”
Vaughn“You put snot on the ball?”
Harris“I haven't got an arm like yours—I gotta put anything on it I can find. Someday, you will, too”

Charlie Sheen and Chelcie Ross in Major League

Inigo Montoya“My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

Mandy Patinkin in The Princess Bride

Various characters“I thought you were dead.”
Jacob McCandles“Not hardly.”

John Wayne in Big Jake

Sam Spade“I hope you're not letting yourself be influenced by the guns these pocket edition desperados are waving around, because I've practiced taking guns from these boys before so we'll have no trouble there.”

Humphrey Bogart in The Maltese Falcon

SgtMaj ‘Goody’ Nelson“Here's to us and those like us…”
SFC Clell Hazard“…damn few left.”

James Earl Jones and James Caan in Gardens of Stone

Butch Cassidy“I think they're in the trees up ahead.”
The Sundance Kid“Nah, the bushes on the left.”
Cassidy“I'm telling you, they're in the trees up ahead.”
Sundance“You take the trees, I'll take the bushes.”
Percy Garris“Will you two beginners cut it out.”
Cassidy“Well, we're just trying to spot an ambush, Mr. Garris.”
Garris“Morons! I've got morons on my team. No one is going to rob us going down the mountain. We have no money going down the mountain. When we have got the money, on the way back, then you can sweat.” (spits) “Bingo!”

Paul Newman, Robert Redford, and Strother Martin in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
(I think this was Martin's greatest role. Although his line from Cool Hand Luke is probably more famous, that part didn't have near the character of Percy Garris.)

Col. Nathan Jessup“You can't handle the truth!” (must be heard in Nicholson's delivery)

Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men

Suzanne Dorn“You're the sexiest man I've ever seen and you look like you could use a friend.”
Rick Vaughn
(signalling to the bartender)

Stacy Carroll and Charlie Sheen in Major League

Pa Danby“I gotta throw in with that sheriff that you don't exactly dazzle nobody with your intelligence.”

Walter Brennan (to Bruce Dern) in Support Your Local Sheriff

Charlie Cowell“He's a bare faced, double shuffle, two bit, thimble rigger!”

Harry Hickox in The Music Man

LtCol Kilgore“I love the smell of napalm in the morning! ...smell[s] like victory.”

Robert Duvall in Apocalypse Now

Loretta Castorini“Snap out of it!”

Cher (while slapping Nicolas Cage) in Moonstruck

Carl“It's a Cinderella story, from out of nowhere, a former greenskeeper, about to become the Masters champion. He's got about an 8 iron.”
(sound of weed cutter, swung like a golf club, cutting through flowers)
“It's in the hole! It's in the hole!”

Bill Murray in Caddyshack

Rick“All the gin joints in all the towns in all the world; she walks into mine.”
Rick (later)“Play it, Sam. You played it for her, you can play it for me. If she can stand it, I can.”

Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca
(the closest he came to saying the often and erroneously quoted line that isn't in the movie, “play it again, Sam.”)

Lone Watie“I didn't surrender either, but they took my horse and made him surrender.”

Chief Dan George in The Outlaw Josey Wales

Carl“…the Dali Lama himself. The twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace—bald, striking…So, we finish the 18, and he's going to stiff me. And I say, ‘hey. Lama, hey. How about a little something for, you know, the effort, you know?’ And he says, ‘oh, uh, there won't be any money. But when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ So I've got that going for me, which is nice.”

Bill Murray in Caddyshack

Various characters“Who's the best pilot you ever saw?”
Gordon Cooper“You're looking at him.”

Dennis Quaid in The Right Stuff

Melvin Udall“You make me want to be a better man.”

Jack Nicholson paying a compliment to Helen Hunt in As Good As It Gets

Doyle Lonnegan“Not only are ye a cheat—ye're a gutless cheat, as well.”

Robert Shaw in The Sting

Fred Johnson“Disturbing the peace, that's what it is.”

Walter Burke in Support Your Local Sheriff
(his complaint is a very subtle double entendre made while stumbling out of Madame Orr's House—in itself a double entendre, just after it's been blown up.)

Harry Callahan“A man's gotta know his limitations.”

Clint Eastwood in Magnum Force

Lou Brown“Well, Vaughn, they tell me you're a pitcher—you sure aren't much of a dresser. We wear caps and sleeves at this level, son.”

James Gammon (to Charlie Sheen) in Major League

Sandy“I want you to kill all the gophers on the course.”
Carl“Uh, correct me if I'm wrong, Sandy, but if I kill every golfer on the course, they'll lock me up and throw away the key.”
Sandy“Not golfers, you great fool! Gophers, little furry rodents!”
Carl“We can do that. We don't even need a reason.”

Bill Murray and Thomas A. Carlin in Caddyshack

Andy DuFresne“Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'.”

Tim Robbins in Shawshank Redemption

Doc Holliday“I'm your huckleberry.”
Doc Holliday“Isn't it a daisy?.”
Doc Holliday“Must be a peach of a hand.”
Doc Holliday“I stand corrected…you're an oak.”
(some of the many flora references in the movie)

Val Kilmer in Tombstone

SgtMaj ‘Goody’ Nelson“Make a hole—make it wide.”

James Earl Jones in Gardens of Stone

Will Munny“Who's the fella that owns this shithole?”

Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven

Harry Gondorff“Always drink gin with a mark, kid. He can't tell you cut it.”

Paul Newman in The Sting

(in one of several similar allusions to his previous employment)
“…might be able to give you a few tips about shoveling horse sh…er, working around a stable…”

Jack Elam in Support Your Local Sheriff

Dude“Do you mind if we dance with your dates?”

Jebidiah R. Dumas in Animal House

Al Czervik“The last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it.”

Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack

Elwood“It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas and a half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake“Hit it.”

Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi in The Blues Brothers

Charlie Cowell“Not on your tintype, girly girl!”

Harry Hickox in The Music Man

Dan Conner“Marriage isn't a game. A game is something that's fun and you can win. Marriage is a blood sport.”

John Goodman in an episode of Roseanne

Sgt Jim Morgan“Is that a smile on your face, mister?
You better wipe that smile off your face.
If I see a smile on your face, I might think you think I'm funny looking.
If I think you think I'm funny looking, mister, you'd better stand by.”

Jack Webb in The D.I.

Captain Renault“Why did you come to Casablanca?”
Rick“I came for the waters.”
Renault“The waters? There are no waters in Casablanca. This is a desert.”
Rick“Then I was misinformed.”

Humphrey Bogart and Claude Rains in Casablanca

Harry Gondorff“Nice con, Hickey. I thought you were the Feds myself.”

Paul Newman to Dana Elcar in The Sting

Lt. Watson
quoting Lt. Holden
“…in confusion there is profit.”

Robert Gist (Tony Curtis) in Operation Petticoat

Al Czervik“This steak's still got the marks from where the jockey was hitting it.”

Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack

Not a movie or TV quote, but it's such a good line and following a golf movie quote, I think it's appropriate here.
Phil Mickelson“If I have a great rest of my career, and I go out and win 20 more tournaments and seven more majors to get to 50 wins and 10 majors, which would be an awesome career, I still won't get to where he's at today. So I don't try to compare myself against him.”

Deflecting questions about himself vs Tiger Woods at the 2007 U.S. Open at Oakmont

Last updated: 04 May 2013

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